my motions.

I know I’ve said this before but I am SUCH a lyrics person. I am constantly looking up lyrics for songs I like and well…. blogging about them. Right now I am constantly playing “The Motions” by Matthew West…and when I am not playing it, I am singing it. That part is unfortunate for those around me. Way FM can seriously overplay and overkill a song but for now I don’t mind hearing it every 4 songs. I’m obsessed with it and it puts into words how I am feeling. If you haven’t heard it please listen here.

After I left Christ Fellowship 2 weeks ago I have spent a ton more time reflecting on what God is doing in my life and what He has been trying to do during the times when I wasn’t listening very well. I heard this song and the part “I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me” stuck in my head. I realized at that moment that nothing else truly mattered. It didn’t matter what I wanted or how I saw my life play out or who I thought I would be with. It never has and never will. I could have everything in the world the way I want it but it wouldn’t matter without an all consuming passion inside my heart for God. I felt for the first time in awhile like a new Christian. I was never far from Jesus but my heart was filled with passions for what I wanted, who I wanted, and lack of trust that God had a better plan and could take better care of me. Maybe I am being a little transparent here but hopefully someone else has gone through this too. I made a commitment today that I wouldn’t go another day without God’s all consuming passion inside of me. Nothing else even begins to matter if I don’t have this.

Where are you tonight? Are you on fire for the things of this world or a person who will never be able to fill that void? Give up. That is my only advice. Those things and those people will never be enough, they didn’t create you and they don’t know you like God does. He will fill every crevice of your heart if you let Him. Don’t give up who you are and who God wants you to be for anything or anyone else. The truth is we don’t deserve better but we DO get more than we deserve. Don’t settle for a guy that doesn’t make you his priority and expect him to fill your empty heart, walk away. Don’t settle for a group of friends that bring you down with them, you are a child of God and Jesus died so that you can have better than this. Get up, walk away and break. His power works best in your weakness.

This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something