Here is a little follow up on my previous blog. My teacher asked me to write an essay on what I wanted to do with my life… I couldn’t simply answer that question and I ended up with my first blog. For certain reasons I left some parts out of the excerpt as well as the ending. Over the past couple days I have filled a few people (one special person, in particular) in on some life changes and can now share it with my blogging buddies. So here is part two, the final and edited version of what I am going to do with my life.
So here is the deal. I have way too many ideas on what I should and shouldn’t do with my life. The only barrier I am currently presented with is what God thinks I should and shouldn’t be doing. To name a few of my top choices to fill my busy schedule, we have: going to school to become a chiropractic physician, moving elsewhere to purse a career as a full-time photographer, hanging around long enough to be a wife and a mother, becoming an author, or opening up a chain of random businesses and in a small sense, being my own boss. This random pursuit of my hearts desires should begin sometime after I graduate from PBA and reluctantly plunge into the real world with the other 6.8 billion people that share this waiting room with me.
The thoughts bombard my mind daily but the fears of taking the wrong first step paralyze me into remaining comfortable with my daily routine. I challenge myself with why? after why? after why? And I conclude that I must learn to fully trust and surrender to Christ before I can take that first step. I know that He is sovereign but do I trust that with all that I am? Do I believe that no matter which step I take that He will be there making good out of my potential bad? I can’t help to think that all of this would be much simpler if God would use sticky notes every once in awhile. That is obviously out of the question and I am left in a mere battle between my inner desires and my desire for God’s will. The foundation of all of this is suddenly made so clear. Ah, clarity, I love the peace of mind that comes along with it. I need to be still. Not in a room, or by myself in a well-landscaped park; I need to be still with God and let Him be God. I am clearly not doing a notable job as the creator of the universe. It just might be that He has tried to show my the first step to take but my ever so impulsive self was too busy debating my dream future that I blocked Him out. It is a spiritual tragedy to say the least. Career plans or no career plans, I want to know that I am in God’s will, that I am pursuing the goals that bring Him the most glory. Whether that be working at Target or adjusting spines to maximize the function of someone’s nervous system, I will be content. So there we have it, my first step. I will sit and let God be God and let me be me. I am His servant, His child, and pursuing His will. What more could I ask for? I have been given grace beyond measure and the opportunity to serve the King of Kings while I anticipate His triumphant return. Hallelujah, I think I know what I’m doing with my life.
So, I left you hanging on what I have decided to pursue out of my many options. Some things are just left for a few of my loved ones to know…for now!
